Dear First-Time Mom Who Wants a Natural Birth,
You wrote me the other day and said you are expecting your first baby and you deeply desire to have a natural childbirth.
But none of your friends with kids had one.
And they laughed at you – and told you the only reason you want one is because you are a first-time mom.
They told you that you’ll want the epidural as soon as the first contraction hits. That you just need to sit back and let the doctors, nurses and anesthesiologist do their jobs. That they’ll take care of everything.
(Why in the world would you want to have an active role in your childbirth, anyway?)
Let me tell you something, Mrs. First-Time Mom: I was you five years ago.
I so desperately wanted a natural childbirth. I wanted to feel labor. I wanted to experience it. I wanted to be as conscious and aware of what was happening to my body as possible.
But everyone I knew had had what the majority of Americans experience: a medicated birth.
“Oh, you will be begging for the epidural!”
“You will want them to drug you up!”
“And WHY would you want to feel all that?”
They laughed at me. Just like they’re laughing at you.
So, their predictions came true. After eight hours of sweating and breathing and gritting my teeth, I asked for some relief.
They gave me something to “knock the edge off.” The next thing I knew, I was hallucinating that I was in a forest surrounded by trees covered in red berries.
As I was still in that half-hallucinated state, they brought in the paperwork and asked me to sign for my epidural. (This, um, wasn’t on my birth plan!)
Holding my sweet firstborn for the very first time!!
I was numbed up when she arrived. She was so sleepy from the drugs that we had to rub wet wash cloths on her face to wake her to nurse.
If I had known then what I know now …
I would have known that I could indeed have had a natural childbirth. So can you, Mrs. First-Time Mom.
Dear First-Time Mom Who Wants a Natural Birth,
Don’t let “them” laugh at you.
This isn’t about mommy wars. Who cares if all your friends had medicated births, if that is what they wanted. But that’s not what you want. You want a natural birth.
And you can have one.
You read your heart out during the rest of this pregnancy. Find yourself a doula that will support you during your labor. Practice natural pain relief. Pray.
Go into that marathon of your life with a sheer determination, and you can beat all the odds and deliver this precious baby without drugs.
You can be present. You can be aware. You can be an active participant in your child’s entrance into this world.
I know you can do it.
Rooting for you,
A mommy of three with 20/20 hindsight vision
Did you want a natural childbirth? Did anyone tell you you couldn’t have a natural childbirth?
Come back tomorrow to read my letter to moms who didn’t have a natural childbirth. It will be a post filled with grace.
Want more tips on natural childbirth? Check out my entire series on preparing for a natural pregnancy and childbirth here!
This post first appeared as one of my columns in the Mooresville Weekly newspaper.
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